Well, I’m about six weeks away from the end of my service in Ukraine. I knew this time would eventually arrive, and I must be honest; sometimes I wanted it to come more quickly, and yet I cannot believe how swiftly my two years here have gone by. As expected, I am hardly the same person who left home in March of 2007. For those of you who know me well, or will have the opportunity to get to know me all over again in the next several months, I’m sure some of these changes will be noticeable.

But before I go on about all the ways I’m a better and worse person than I thought I was, I want to share with you some reflections from the past 26 months. Some of them have to do with people, some with a way of life, and all of them with what was important to me while I alternated between surviving and thriving. Keep in mind that these reflections are by no means unique to my experience, but I hope you find them entertaining nonetheless.

First, when living in Ukraine, it’s important to ask a lot of questions. If your language is sub-par, find someone to translate for you, or pantomime. If even these services remain unavailable to you, then enjoy spending a majority of your time in ignorant bliss or utter confusion. Language and cultural differences are a challenge in any foreign country, and people assume that you know certain things about how the whole system works. And you assume they will tell you. Often, neither of these are true.

It’s amazing what a person can get used to. We think we can’t, but actually, we can. You learn to love those twenty minutes you get to drink a cup of coffee and eat breakfast while the water for your bath heats up. You buy rubber gloves to keep your hands from freezing while you wring out your laundry and save up bottles of water for when it randomly stops coming out of the faucet. You buy earplugs to drown out noisy neighbors bowling in the apartment above you, carry wet wipes to clean the mud and dirt constantly covering your shoes, and try your absolute best to blend into the scenery. You take notes on names, learn to fit yourself into the smallest space imaginable on a bus, allow half the world to cut in line in front of you, and come to an understanding that tomorrow, what you are buying is going to cost just a little bit more.

The nonprofit world operates differently here. Funding for these organizations comes from outside the Ukrainian borders, whereas in the U.S. our own corporations, wealthy Americans, and foundations support our NGOs. I am still deliberating on exactly the effects of these differences associated with this, but I know they exist. In my opinion, philanthropy in the sense we as Americans understand it does not exist in Ukraine. Money is always tight, the idea of credit still new, and people are often understandably preoccupied with survival before they can focus on the needs of others. That being said, a neighbor or friend in need is a very worthy cause, and an old woman unable to survive on her pension can depend on the kindness of strangers to put change in her cup.

In short, my time here as been successful. I came here for three reasons: to learn a language, learn about a new culture, and share my culture with Ukrainians. I have achieved all three of these things and in that I can find my satisfaction. If you desire more details about projects and actual work I completed while I was here, well, I suppose I can share that with you upon request.

When I come home, if I should have the pleasure of seeing you, please be aware of how I might be different. I will exhibit a strange obsession with food (especially Mexican), take off my shoes before I come into your home, never whistle indoors, weigh more, be in love, save plastic silverware, complain about how much we waste, carry the same plastic bag around with me for months on end, write my ones with flags and my sevens with a dash, promote the metric system, stare off into space, wear the same clothes several days in a row, shine my shoes, and forget English words. I might seem distracted (mostly because I will be able to understand nearly every conversation going on around me in a room) but above all, I hope that the person you meet when I come back home is only a better version of the person you once knew. Thank you so much for your support and kind words throughout my journey and I look forward to seeing you, if possible, when I come home to Michigan to begin my job search in June. Until then, keep in touch, and I wish you all the very best!

Very sincerely,

Megan

Then the loans start coming due. I don’t have enough money to move back to Denver, although I would love to. So I am gonna live at home while I finish my paper and job search. This is actually a great thing because I miss my family a lot and it will be great to spend more time with them.  Job searching will be interesting. When I first joined Peace Corps, I had my heart set on working for the Government Accountability Office in the International Trade and Development Department (they are a non-partisan government agency that reviews how government money is spent) but now I wonder if DC is really the place for me if I plan to get married and raise a family. I got excited about the prospect of working there because of a professor I had at DU, but it’s a small organization and and I’m guessing low turnover, so I should at least explore other options.

I’ve been increasingly drawn toward working for the Presbyterian Church at a national level, perhaps as a coordinator for how church money is spend on development projects and missions abroad.  I love the Presbyterian Church and it’s been an amazing network for me ever since I spent summer 2002 in Kenya. Yes, I could open myself up to other denominations and perhaps have better success finding a job, but for now, I’m just poking around to see what’s out there.

I thought briefly about applying of the Alfa Fellowship, a year-long professional exchange program in Russia. If they count my Peace Corps service as experience, then I meet all the criteria. Problem is, I’m not sure I want to spend another year away from home. It wouldn’t start until 2010, so then I would have to find something to do in the meantime..more waitressing? It’s on the back burner for now.

So those are the thoughts…if anyone who is familiar with my talents and passions in life, please send your ideas my way =)  Nothing is too crazy to at least consider!

Pro-Western coalition crumbles as president warns of political coup

by Stephen Bandera, Kyiv Post Editor

From the Kyiv Post

Infighting among the country’s top politicians got uglier this week, as the pro­Western coalition all but collapsed and President Victor Yushchenko threatened to dismiss parliament for the second time in two years – all on the eve of crucial international talks on Ukraine’s place in Europe and NATO.

The fragile marriage between Orange Revolution leaders President Victor Yushchenko and Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko has been in poor shape for several months.

But both – expected to spar for the presidential job in the 2010 election – have effectively served divorce papers on each other. Apparently, it’s a done deal this time, ending the governing coalition and parliamentary majority they created eight months ago.

The acrimony comes days ahead of key international meetings concerning Ukraine’s future, including a Sept. 4­5 visit from U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and a Sept. 9 European Union­Ukraine meeting in Evian, France, to discuss ways to strengthen ties.

The breaking point in the Yushchenko­Tymoshenko partnership appeared to have come over accusations from Victor Baloha, the president’s chief of staff, that the prime minister is a traitor for not denouncing the Aug. 8 Russian invasion of Georgia. In a recent letter to Ukraine’s State Security Service, Baloha also accused Tymoshenko of trying to kill him.

On Sept. 3, the scant chance of reconciliation appeared to rest on Yushchenko’s response to a demand from the Tymoshenko side that, if the president gets rid of Baloha and apologizes, the coalition might be saved.

If not, a strange parliamentary majority could form composed of Tymoshenko’s eponymous bloc known as BYuT, the Communists and her Orange Revolution foes, the Party of Regions.

The troika joined forces in parliament on the Verkhovna Rada’s first day back from the summer holidays on Sept. 2, providing the 300­plus votes in a 450­seat legislature to override a presidential veto, adopt legislation on impeachment and increase powers for the legislature at the expense of presidential rights.

Yushchenko said the nation is witnessing “the beginning of a political and constitutional coup” and that these laws impose the “dictatorship of the prime minister.”

“All these anti­constitutional laws will be vetoed,” he said in a televised address to the nation on Sept. 3.

Yushchenko said the events in the Rada ended the existence of the democratic coalition, and that “de facto, a new parliamentary coalition has been created.” He then went on to threaten an early election if a new alliance is not formalized within 30 days after the breakup of the previous coalition, the deadline allowed by the Constitution.

“If a coalition of deputies’ factions is not created in the time period allotted by Ukraine’s fundamental law, I will use my right to dismiss the Supreme Rada and announce pre­term elections,” he said.

Escalating the conflict even further, 11 ministers loyal to the president out of 24 did not attend the cabinet’s weekly meeting on Sept. 3, including those for defense, justice and foreign affairs. The health, youth and sports, emergencies, cultural and education ministers did not show up. But Tymoshenko still had a quorum to run the meeting.

In a televised address to Ukrainians late on Sept. 3, Tymoshenko accused Yushchenko of sabotaging the coalition and her government for the purpose of scoring political points in his re­election campaign.

She said the president went “to the edge” to get a boost in his ratings.

“Even though there is practically no chance, [the president’s advisers] are lost in their mindless fight,” she added.

Recent polls show that Tymoshenko is the top contender for the next presidential contest with just more than 20 percent support, followed closely by Yanukovych. Yushchenko trails far behind with less than 10 percent support.

Tymoshenko also refuted claims that she was soft in her support for Georgia, saying: “My position on Georgia is in line with the European Union, and it is not to drag Ukraine into conflicts.”

Tymoshenko also pledged her party would push – supposedly with the votes of Regions, Communists and possibly other parties, to reshape Ukraine’s Constitution. The purpose, she said, is to clearly divide authority among the president, premier and parliament.

This, what seems to be the real divorce of Ukraine’s two Orange Revolution heroes before they start to spar for the presidential seat, follows years of backstabbing. Both onetime allies appear to have completely turned into bitter rivals and are preparing for the cut­throat presidential contest ahead.

More mess and fighting

After the latest chopping at presidential powers, Baloha accused the troika led by Tymoshenko of usurping power and preparing a constitutional coup, whose goals are a two­party system and the elimination of the executive branch. Their “conductors are their ideologues and patrons in Moscow who seek revenge for the events of 2004 and make Ukraine a controlled country … a useful tool in Russia’s geopolitical and geo­economic interests,” he said in a statement released by the Secretariat.

Baloha accused Tymoshenko of teaming up with Victor Medvedchuk – the man who headed ex­president Leonid Kuchma’s presidential administration earlier this decade – to create a crisis situation in Ukraine. Baloha, himself an ex­ally of Medvedchuk, also accused Tymoshenko of “constantly and systematically blocking the performance of the coalition agreement” between her party and the president’s grouping.

In the midst of the turmoil, some members of the dying coalition called for it to be preserved. A small grouping of lawmakers from the pro­presidential bloc urged Yushchenko to dismiss Baloha, whom they view as a troublemaker.

There were no signs that the president’s office would act on the ultimatum by the time the Kyiv Post went to print.

Experts say if the Regions­BYuT tandem is formalized in parliament, it would be unstable, leading to yet another snap election. Yet both camps could stick with a situational partnership to contain Yushchenko, keeping him in check with the threat of impeachment.

If, on the other hand, no official parliamentary majority is formed in the next month, the legal grounds for dismissing the Rada and holding repeat elections to the national legislature will arise.

Anti­presidential legislation

The turmoil erupted late on Sept. 2, when Tymoshenko’s faction and Regions combined their 331 votes in the 450­member chamber to finally elect the Rada’s two deputy speakers from among their own ranks. The key Rada posts have been vacant since Rada elections nearly one year ago. Regions’ Oleksandr Lavrynovych and BYuT’s Mykola Tomenko took flanking seats on the presidium, adjacent to Speaker Arseniy Yatseniuk, a staunch Yushchenko ally.

Yatseniuk and most pro­presidential lawmakers stormed out of the Rada after the newly formed alliance rushed – and within one hour ­ adopted legislation undercutting presidential authority.

Experts said the Regions Party, Yulia Tymoshenko bloc and Communists had varying motives for joining forces against Yushchenko. Some of them find him personally objectionable; others consider him a weak politician, or just wanted to weaken the presidency, regardless of who holds the office.

Whatever the motives, in just two votes, the freshly­baked majority clearly spelled out the presidential impeachment process. They established an ad hoc parliament investigative commission that would swiftly be able to handle an impeachment process.

According to the new procedure, the deputies have to vote by a simple majority to create this new special commission to investigate “state treason or other crime committed by the president.” After two months of investigation, the commission would have to have its results approved by parliament and then send them on to the Constitutional and the Supreme Courts. If the courts rule the commission’s claims legitimate, the Rada could drive the final nail into the head of state’s political coffin.

The bill’s author, BYuT’s Andriy Portnov, also penned amendments to the Law on Cabinet of Ministers that eliminates six presidential rights and powers over executive branch appointments, governmental orders and agreements with foreign governments.

Portnov said the changes will be “yet another step towards building Ukraine as a democratic state” and fully abide by the Constitution.

The powers of the presidency were curtailed by the changes made to the Constitution in the heat of the 2004 Orange Revolution, when Yushchenko agreed to a compromise deal that paved the way for him to the presidency.

After a decade of presidential rule under Leonid Kuchma, many politicians are calling for a weaker chief of state, a move that would turn Ukraine into a full­fledged parliamentary system.

From the Washington Post
By Victor Yushchenko
Monday, August 25, 2008; A17

KYIV, Ukraine — The conflict in Georgia revealed problems that extend well beyond our region. Recent events have made clear how perilous it is for the international community to ignore “frozen conflicts.” The issues of breakaway regions in newly independent states are complex; too often, they have been treated as bargaining chips in geopolitical games. But such “games” result in the loss of human lives, humanitarian disasters, economic ruin and the collapse of international security guarantees.

Ukraine has become a hostage in the war waged by Russia. This has prompted Ukrainian authorities and all of our country’s people, including those living in the Crimea, to ponder the dangers emanating from the fact that the Russian Black Sea fleet is based on our territory.

The tragic events in Georgia also exposed the lack of effective preventive mechanisms by the United Nations, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, and other international organizations.

We in Ukraine hope that the Russian Federation will heed the opinion of the global community so that the issues at hand can be settled through negotiations. We want an end to the looting and destruction of Georgian infrastructure. We must do everything possible to prevent provocations and avoid further massacres.

The ongoing conflict between Russia and Georgia affects my country’s interests. Military operations have taken place close to our borders, and the Russian Black Sea fleet was directly involved. The question of Ukraine’s national security was acutely raised. Given the activities of the Russian fleet, I had to issue a decree regulating its functioning on the territory of Ukraine.

Under these circumstances, Ukraine could not stay silent. We, along with other nations, engaged to seek resolution of the conflict. From the first day of hostilities, Ukraine called for an immediate cease-fire by all parties and dispatched humanitarian aid to victims regardless of their ethnicity.

Ukraine upheld its firm support for the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Georgia.

On Aug. 12, I, together with my colleagues from the three Baltic states and Poland, visited Tbilisi. Our proposals seeking a solution to the conflict were in harmony with the European Union settlement plan. We highly praise the efforts of the United States and the E.U. presidency, led by the French, to achieve a cease-fire. Their actions proved efficient in putting a halt to war and bloodshed.

Ukraine favors a wider international representation in the peacekeeping force in the conflict area. A new multilateral format mandated by the United Nations or the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe is the only way to guarantee security in the conflict zone.

I strongly hope that that plan will be strictly implemented by the conflicting parties. We are ready to join international efforts to provide relief and help victims resume their peaceful lives. Ukraine also stands ready to take part in the U.N. or OSCE missions by sending peacekeepers.

It is clear that in addition to the political dimensions of issues involving breakaway regions, we need to cope with the social and economic aspects of this phenomenon. Many of these provinces are beyond the control of the respective governments or the international community. In many cases, the absence of monitoring has turned these territories into havens for smuggling as well as illegal trafficking in arms, people and drugs. Corruption and human-rights abuses are rampant. These areas are marked by their lack of democratic electoral procedures and their unfree or biased media. The ethnic dimension of the problem is often exaggerated to help conceal the criminal practices.

Moreover, an area home to such activities poses a threat to the prosperity and development of adjacent nations. Official authorities are compelled to counter attacks from separatist paramilitaries. But they are not always successful. Before large-scale combat erupted in Georgia, Russian peacekeepers failed to prevent the shelling of Georgian territory by South Ossetian separatists. Indeed, that activity intensified in the days before the greater conflict.

This weekend Ukraine celebrated the anniversary of its independence. This conflict has proved once again that the best means of ensuring the national security of Ukraine and other countries is to participate in the collective security system of free democratic nations, exemplified today by NATO. In accordance with national legislation and its foreign policy priorities, Ukraine will continue following the path of Euro-Atlantic integration. This is the path of democracy, freedom and independence.

The writer is president of Ukraine.

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks.

When I got back from my trip home in July, it was Camp HEAL planning in full swing. Some volunteers came in early to help out, and it’s a good thing they did. There was a problem with our grant and the money wasn’t deposited in my account when they said it would be. The day before the camp started, we managed to scrape together 17,000 greeven (a lot of money) in order to pay for the first three days. The money was supposed to be in my account by the next day (Friday) or at the latest on Monday. I was scared to death. What would be do if the money wasn’t there in time? Send everyone home? Beg the camp not to kick us out?

55 Ukrainian students and 20 PCVs arrived and camp began. The money was deposited in my account late Friday afternoon and I barely made it to the bank in time to withdrawal the money. Amazingly I did, and I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. We spend the next 6 days learning about human trafficking, HIV/AIDS, leadership, peer pressure, and healthy lifestyles. We taught the students in English, but translated when absolutely necessary. We had s’mores and campfire, contests, a talent show, and a lot of really great moments when I felt like I could’ve hugged each and every one of them. I’ve never worked so hard in my life, never been so stressed out, but never been so proud of all the people I was working with. It was an amazing experience. I think we were nuts for working with 16-22 year olds, as I never slept at night worrying whether or not they were in their own beds, but in the end no one died (as my dad so reassuringly put it).

Camp ended and then I spent a few days in Kiev, completing my mid-service medical (which involved having my teeth sandblasted and spitting blood for several hours) then teaching at the PEPFAR seminar. By the time I got home on Friday morning, it was time to help decorate the reception hall for Irina’s wedding.

A few months back, Irina, my counterpart, had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I know that Ukrainian wedding parties are traditionally small, so I knew what an honor it would was that she was asking me to be a part of it. She thought I would enjoy learning a bit more about Ukrainian traditions.

The following in an abridged version journal entry about the experience, and although still lengthy, it is the only way to really explain the whole process!

–At 9:00 on the dot the next morning, Irina’s brother called to let me know he was down stairs. I wasn’t quite ready so I ran around brushing my teeth, closing windows, and hoping he wasn’t actually here yet, but instead on his way. I was wrong. When I walked out the door downstairs he was on the phone with Irina, wondering if maybe he was at the wrong building. As soon as I appeared, he hung up, and off we went to Irina’s parent’s house. The hairdresser immediately got to work and I sat on the couch and watched. Killing some time and trying to not sweat my make-up off, I took a few notes about how I was feeling:

Her big day- I’m scared to mess it up, so I’m sitting quietly waiting to be needed, trying to be noticed only enough not to be forgotten. I’ve brought food to eat and water to drink, so I shouldn’t need to ask for anything but a toilet. I saw the traditional Ukrainian towel Irina had been cross-stitching, and had been worried about not finishing in time. I complimented her on finishing it, only to be told that she had to use a different one. She hadn’t finished sewing hers. Oops.

As I’m sitting her watching Irina have her hair done, I’m increasingly aware of the faint wrinkles on my dress that I missed yesterday when I pulled it out of the closet. Red toenail polish stains the edges of my toes, even though I’d picked and scrubbed to get it out. I’m not wearing a necklace, even though I’d meant to buy one. But I suppose, in the end it’s better to be understated so that the focus will be on her. This is not about me, but it’s the parts of me that become about her that make me nervous.

And then things started to get busy. We decorated the front steps, set up the contests for the groom and best man, decorated the cars, and helped Irina put on her dress and jewelry. Before we knew it, it was 1:00 and Losha had arrived. I stayed in the bedroom with Irina while Losha and Yuroslav (his best man) went through the tests the sisters presented him. By the time they got to me, I told her that yes, he had found her, but that I still had her shoe! And if he wanted it, they would have to pay. The sisters had told me he would offer money and that I should turn in down a few times as not enough, just to tease him. They threw me though, by offering me alcohol instead. The started with vodka, which I truly don’t like, so I turned it down. Then they said sweet wine, which I also don’t like, so I said no. Then they offered juice, which sounded good at that point, so I consented. They handed over two juice boxes and I handed over her shoe. Losha put it on her and then the kissed as he presented her with her bouquet. I told everyone congratulations and that it was time to go together to the signing ceremony.

I helped pin on Yuroslav’s sash and flower, we took a few pictures, then loaded into the decorated cars. We had some time to kill, so we went to the center square to take pictures. Most close friends and family were there. It was extremely hot, so I was happy to get back into the air conditioned car. Then we arrived at the place where the civil ceremony takes place. Two other wedding parties were there, so we waited a moment for the guests to leave before entering. Losha and Irina showed their passports and signed the guest book. The photographer/wedding coordinator barked instructions. I held flowers, dabbed sweat, and got out of the way as necessary. When all the guests had filed into the room, Irina and Losha stood arm and arm, with Yuroslav and I close behind. The piano player began and we filed in. I carried the rushnik on my arm, and I had been instructed to lay in before them when told. I don’t remember much of the ceremony, I was so scared to mess up. Yuroslav and I stood to the side and once the couple had signed the marriage license, he brought them glasses of champagne and I brought a box of chocolates melting in the heat. The wedding coordinator/photographer glared at me for something, then shoved me over to the side. Everything seemed to go smoothly, until the guests started greeting Irina and Losha with flowers. When her hands got full, I took them from her, and after a few pictures, I stood next to her for a few more. Unfortunately I stood too closely and the netting from one of the bouquets got caught in her veil. Losha tried frantically to release her, and my hands were too full of flowers to help. After what seemed like an eternity, he freed her and we exited the room. We took a group photo on the steps of the building before loading back into the (thankfully air-conditioned) cars.

From there we went to the park/resort part of town where the photographer (not the same lady from the civil ceremony) took pictures of them amongst the flowers and trees. The wedding party, close friends and family who had tagged along, opened bottles of wine and vodka, toasting the couple in the shade of a few trees. I followed Losha and Irina, not interested in drinking vodka, worried she might need something.

By the time we got back into the cars and went to the reception hall, many of the guests were already there waiting for us. The formed two lines to the entrance and threw rose petals as the newlyweds walked through. Then we waited for about 15 minutes for someone to bring champagne (this tradition was lost on me, as we finally gave up waiting and walked up the stairs without it) before greeting the guests on the second floor. The hall was beautifully, although modestly decorated and the tables set for about 50 people. There were four places set at the head table, which was covered with plates of food. There was chicken and fish, vegetable plates, salads and so much more. I hadn’t eaten more than a bag of peanuts since ten in the morning, and seeing as it was already five, I could barely contain myself.

There were toasts to the new couple and we hadn’t been seated more than five minutes before the master of ceremonies (a woman who appeared to be in her early forties) passed the microphone from person to person for personal toasts. I’d been warned about this part, where people tell the new couple what kind of gift they would be given and then read from a card or just say a toast. When the microphone finally made it to me, I opened the card where I’d written my prepared toast, but tried not to read from it. I was frustrated that most people weren’t listening, as I’d worked so hard at learning it, but Irina and Losha were listening and I suppose that’s all that mattered.

When they’d finally made it around the room, the eating continued. The guests randomly called out “gorka” (kiss) now and then, I assume much like forks on the glasses as we do at home. Then they would start counting slowly to see how long the couple would kiss. One time they made it to 19. Then the MC started conducting contests. We had to pass plastic balls without using our hands, pass playing cards from mouth to mouth, and dance in costumes. In some ways it reminded me of a teenage party. It was so hot in the hall, that people kept leaving to go outside, so I heard later that the MC didn’t do half the contests she’d wanted to.

There was dancing and more eating. More drinking and more toasting. Then, when we were sitting outside trying to dry some of the sweat from out clothing, one of the guests “stole” the bride. I’d been told this would happen and I was supposed to stay close to her. They carried her off and locked her in the bathroom. A few moments later we were back in the reception hall, as the abductors decided what it was the best man and I would have to do to win her back. The best man had to do a strip tease, while I offered the only strange talent I had, which is to whistle on my hands. Then I had to eat pieces of bread off the best man with a blind fold on. It was all in good fun and everyone kept asking me if I was okay, or if I was offended by what I’d been asked to do. I waved them off, assuring them I was fine.

Then there was a dance between Irina and her father, more toasting, and more contests. Every guest was handed a balloon with a slip of paper inside. Once we blew them up, Irina and Losha alternated popping them with a dart. Inside was a chore or a privilege, such as doing dishes or driving the car. Whoever chose a particular balloon was destined to be responsible for doing it in the marriage. It was cute and it turned out pretty balanced. There was a bouquet and a garter toss, and more eating and toasting. Irina’s sister Yulia, who is ready to get married but just needs to find a groom, announced just before that bouquet toss that if there was any pulling of hair or ripping of clothing, it wasn’t anything personal. I had to laugh. She was the one who ended up catching it, but without much fight from the rest of us.

They cut the cake and I helped pass it out, then they served coffee and tea. That is a Ukrainian tradition that I really enjoy. An evening is simply not complete until everyone drinks tea together. It’s something I look forward to now.

By the end of the evening, around 11:00, the family started packing up leftover food, of which there was a lot! I wished that had brought a container or plastic bag, because most of the vegetable platters were thrown out. I despise wasting food, so it broke my heart, but all I had was the plastic bag I’d carried my shoes in, and I could exactly put sliced tomatoes in that.

By the time we’d undecorated the hall and taken everything outside it was nearly midnight. The best man called a cab for me and then helped me into it, after I’d hugged Irina goodnight and she told me to be ready for day two at ten the next morning. When I climbed into the front seat of the cab, I immediately and subconsciously buckled the seatbelt around my lap. The driver, appalled, asked me what I was doing and unbuckled it. No one uses that, he informed me, and I would get my dress all dirty. I’ve been in cabs before where the driver seems perturbed by me using a seatbelt. But I have never had a driver actually unbuckle the belt. He told me he would drive carefully, and that I shouldn’t worry. It’s a habit, I told him unapologetically, but I didn’t try to re-buckle the bet. I never in my life see people use that, he told me, and then kept quiet. We were almost to my apartment when he told me I wasn’t from Ukraine. I told him no, and when he asked where, I told him America. My accent must have been somewhat good because he asked me if I was Ukrainian, but considered myself from America, or if I was actually from America. I told him the latter, after which he seemed somewhat embarrassed about unbuckling my seatbelt. People just don’t use it here, he told me again.

Feeling somewhat annoyed with that excuse I told him, quiet plainly, that perhaps people in Ukraine don’t use seatbelts, but that ever since I was little, I’ve been taught to use one. It’s my face, I said, that goes through the glass. You may be a good driver, I told him, but it’s the other guy, who may be a terrible driver, that I worry about. He was quiet for a moment.

Then he went on to ask more questions about why I was in Ukraine. I told him and then when he asked if I liked it, I said yes. He told me that was rare and he was glad that I liked it there. Your life is better, at home, isn’t it? Better because it is my home, I replied as if reading from a script, but I love Ukraine. I told him that I was just a bridesmaid in a wedding. He thought that was hilarious, then gave me his phone number and insisted I call him if I ever needed a taxi. I should have told him only if he lets me wear my seatbelt. But I didn’t. Instead I thanked him and headed up to my apartment.

I slept until 9:50 the next morning, half expecting Irina to call before then. She didn’t. I got ready, ate some breakfast, read for a while and finally decided to send her a text message at 10:45. Maybe she’d only wanted her family there for the second day. I was perfectly content with staying home and recuperating. She called me right back, saying they’d overslept, and that she would call back in twenty minutes with instructions. Forty minutes later, she told me to be at Losha’s apartment. I sat outside on a bench when I finally got there and told her I’d arrived. She said she’d call Losha and let him know. I had no idea where either of them were and why they weren’t together. A few moments later, Losha and Yuroslav came walking up the path. The best man was fully dressed in his suit and tie, the sash tied around his chest and his flower still pinned to his shirt. My mouth dropped open. Am I supposed to be wearing my sash, I exclaimed? They laughed, but said yes. I half hoped they were joking. I’d assumed Yuroslav hadn’t gone home night before and simply was wearing all he had. But when I went up with them to the apartment and say Irina, she asked me where my sash was. Embarrassed, I told her I didn’t know I was supposed to have worn it. She looked mildly disappointed, but shrugged her shoulders. I sighed. I can go back and get it, I told her. No, that will take too long. So I sat and waited while they finished getting ready, then we walked to her parent’s house. It was already noon and the guests had been sitting, waiting for us for almost two hours. W arrived carrying a tray of wine and vodka, and a box of chocolates. We tried to offer each to everyone we greeted coming through the gate. Yulia pleaded not to have to take a shot of vodka, last night’s alcohol still working its way out of her system, but Yuroslav insisted.

We sat down at the table, full of last night’s food, where guests scolded us light heartedly about being late. We only sat for about twenty minutes before Irina suggested the younger crowd go for a walk to meet some guests at the bus stop. Once we were back, we ate some more. Honestly none of the salads seemed too appetizing to me, as they were all mayonnaise-based and had been sitting out more or less since yesterday. But I ate what I could, then sat listening to the conversations around me.

It was such an amazing experience, to be a part of their wedding, and I feel so fortunate to have been asked. Follow the link below to see pictures!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012879&l=2b630&id=63400379

Andrey was one of the first people I met when I started working at the Rehabilitation Center last September. Although he couldn’t see, he loved to meet new people, write poetry, and tell you how much he loved and trusted in God. He defied expectations by learning how to play card games, frisbee, and help with the dishes. His disability barely slowed him down.

Andrey was always ready to help where he could, and this character trait was evident until the very end. He drowned trying to help someone he thought to be in trouble, but lost his footing and his friends were unable to help him in time. Our Rehabilitation Center will feel his absence. Although I struggled to keep my composure while they lifted his coffin onto the bus for the burial, I know that he can see more clearly now in death than any of us see in life. We will miss you Andrey, and we will not forget you.

March 18, 2008

Still no Internet (it hasn’t been working for more than a week now), but I find it to be a blessing in disguise really. It’s true that I can’t call home, and I missed the Palm Sunday service, but those are really the only two disappointments. Now I read more, I ironed my clothes for tomorrow, did a ton of laundry, baked banana nut muffins, and wrote a few letters to people at home. I read Newsweek from a month ago, went to work on my day off (to get ready for our HIV/AIDS training) and spent more time just sitting and thinking. I needed a break. Unfortunately I doubt there will be any kind of financial compensation for my week without Internet, but who knows. I’m just hoping it’s working again by Sunday, as I would love to be able to listen to the Easter Sunday service on Skype. I have yet to go to an Internet café during this time because the thought of paying even more for Internet makes me a little angry. I’ve had a few moments at work on the computer, so I’m able to read any urgent emails. Goodness, what do people without Internet do?

I bailed on aerobics class last night even though I was dressed and walked all the way over there. There are just so many people coming now that it’s uncomfortable. You can hardly swing your arms or kick your legs without running into someone. I told myself I would go home and do my own workout (half thinking this would not happen) but on the way I stopped in a store to buy frozen veggies. When I couldn’t find them, I decided to walk to the big grocery store on the main road. There, as I was walking toward to entrance jabbing away on my cell phone, someone grabbed my arm. It was Luda, my star volunteer, who I hadn’t seen in over a week. We chatted for a while, both apologizing for not calling sooner, and she introduced me to her son. He looked at me with big eyes, listening to my funny accent and then dismissing me as less interesting than the automatic sliding glass doors.

After I decided to buy raspberry vinegar, a head of lettuce, frozen broccoli, carrots, and a tomato, I spent over ten dollars. I definitely spend a majority of my monthly allowance on food. This is the first time I have seen a head of iceberg lettuce in the grocery store, so I was excited to make a salad. Tomatoes are still pretty expensive (I paid roughly $0.40 for a tiny one) but I’m looking forward to summer when fruits and veggies are cheap and fresh.

I made my salad when I got home, adding walnuts, steaming broccoli and eating a spoonful of honey for dessert. I have never really been a big fan of honey, especially eating it plain. But lately it has grown on me, particularly as an alternative to cookies and candy. I use it when I make chocolate chip cookies (somehow it’s supposed to be a substitute for brown sugar, even though it’s nothing like molasses) and granola bars.

So , I never really worked out. I did walk all over the place trying to find everything for my dinner, but it still isn’t the same. For some reason, I just can’t make myself work out on my own. Maybe I will just have to get over the crowded exercise room. I don’t want to think about the alternative.

I woke up at about two in the morning to the sound of shouting and noises in the apartment aboved me. I have no idea what was going on, but it sounded like someone wrestling or fighting, then an older woman yelling. It went on for quite awhile and I was astounded at how loud they were for such a late hour. On a Monday night. Fortuantely I was eventually able to drift off to sleep, hoping no one was in trouble or getting hurt.

This morning I headed off to the orphanage, dragging my feet a bit. I brought supplies to make God’s Eyes, which proved to be a bit difficult for the four and five year-olds gracing my presense this morning. One of the kids, about seven, quickly caught on and was able to help the others. This made me happy, and of course, it made him proud. One of the smallest children, Denise, got a hold of the scissors and wouldn’t let them go. This is the same child, who a few weeks ago, insisted on stealing UNO cards while I was trying to teach the game. One of the older kids whacked him on the arm every time he came close, or smashed his little hand with his fist if he put his hand near the deck. I expected the teacher to reprimand the older child for such abusive behavior towards the little guy, so imagine my surpise when she herself whacked him on the arm and yanked him backwards. So as he stood there, gripping the scissors with all the determination a three year old can muster, I tried to think quickly of a way to keep him from crying, being hit, or hurting himself. From then on he became master of the scissors, all of us trucking over to him with our yarn when we needed something cut. He seemed happy to have such an important role, stayed in his seat, and reluctantly handed over the scissors at the end of my “class”.

At the Administration building I made photocopies of material for our HIV/AIDS training. I handed over the first installment of the grant money, about $700, and Vera gave me her word that she would have receipts totaling that amount in the next week. I’m a little concerned that we didn’t do more to prepare for the training before hand (it’s on Thursday) but I am working with capable people and I have already learned not to underestimate them. I trust Vera completely with the money, and almost completely with planning a quality training. We shall see.

Only a few people showed up for English Club tonight, which doesn’t really bother me. I told Curtis, the volunteer near me, that I would cook him dinner next week if he comes as a guest speaker next Tuesday for a discussion on volunteerism. He said he would get back to me about it. Now I am in bed, my clothes ironed and sitting on the ironing board for tomorrow, my eyes droopy, and my alarm set for seven. I want so much to roll out of bed, put on some sweatpants and tennis shoes, then go out for a run. But there is a 90% chance that is simply not going to happen. Especially if my neighbors above re-enact the World Wrestling Federation (it’s not called that anymore is it?) again tonight. We shall see…

I’m not much of a teacher. At least not when it comes to a classroom full of students. But at the rehabilitation center where I work, my “clients” are teaching me a thing or two about being a teacher. I’m not always sure what their disabilities are, some physical, some mental. But they all seem to share a feeling of inadequacy. They are often timid, unsure of themselves, and doubt their potential when it comes to learning something new.

Three weeks ago, we began meeting at the local internet center. It’s a free center with five computers open to anyone in the community by appointment (and actually set up by a USAID project a few years ago), and they offered to save us all five computers for two hours every Wedensday. The first day we went, I realized within a few seconds that I was grossly underprepared. They did not know how to click, how to open a program, or how to type. They did not know what a website was, that it was possible for them to have email addresses, or just how big the world wide web really is.

I can remember one of the first few times I used the internet. By then I had taken typing classes and was fortunate enough to have lots of experience on a computer. I learned flags of different countries by playing “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” and I proved world domination playing Risk on our old Macintosh. I don’t remember not knowing how to click a mouse or how to scroll down an internet page.

It’s amazing how scary a place the world can be when there is so much you don’t know, simply because no one ever taught you. As I rest my hand on Natasha’s, guiding it to icon that will open the internet, she smiles and thanks me for helping. I helped four of them open email accounts so they can eventually write emails to other people in Russia or Ukraine with disabilities. Right now they are content reading horoscopes and looking for a date, but I am trying slowly to convince them that the world is at their fingertips and it doesn’t matter that they have to learn a whole new alphabet to access it. They can do it, they are smart enough, and they have a teacher right at their side who couldn’t be more proud.